Brave

In connection with my last post, this song by Nichole Nordeman really speaks to me, especially the following lines:

"The way it always was is no longer good enough; You make me wanna be brave."

Amen. Come what may, Jesus be lifted high!

Foreboding

I really shouldn't worry. I'm not doing that anymore. But a sense of foreboding always comes over me when I think about the near future and my imminent entrance into the corporate world. Change is the only permanent thing in the world*, so the saying goes. I'm reluctant to let go of life as I now know it, but every part of me knows that I have to... and that God will be with me wherever I go.

Blessed assurance, Jesus is mine!
Oh what a foretaste of glory divine!
Heir of salvation, purchase of God,
Born of the Spirit, washed in His blood.

This is my story, this is my song,
praising my Savior all the day long!
This is my story, this is my song,
praising my Savior all the day long!

* God is unchanging! :-)

Miss Grump

"Conduct yourselves with wisdom toward outsiders, making the most of the opportunity. Let your speech always be with grace, as though seasoned with salt, so that you will know how you should respond to each person." - Colossians 4:5-6

I don't know if everyone* has moments like these - moments of extreme grumpiness and pigheadedness when God is not glorified and, Lord forgive me, the heart does not seem to care much, or at all. Or it does but is incapable of repentance at that very moment (much to my annoyance, really).

Yesterday morning was such a time for me. (Talk about timing - it was Sunday and I'd just attended church service!) I don't know if you can attribute it to hunger or lack of sleep, but I was seriously wanting in zeal for the Lord's cause and was highly tempted to look at all matters as untoward incidents meant to provoke me to sin - and quick I was to rush into evil! I was impatient and would have manifested imprudent outbursts of anger, had not the Lord graciously removed grounds for such behavior. (My parents weren't in the same sorry mood I was in yesterday). Still, my tone was a lot less than kind and my words were short, brisk monotones. If you know me, you'll know I don't usually speak this way. This was my everything-pisses-me-off-so-keep-your-distance manner of speaking. The snooty, arrogant, whiny and un-Christian me (strongest when only the family is around) was resurfacing (but it's supposed to be dead!), embracing foolishness and rejecting the tender voice of wisdom which kept calling out to me and reminding me that I loved God and that I was supposed to be a living sacrifice, holy and pleasing to Him.

Frankly, I was even annoyed to be reminded that I wasn't supposed to conduct myself this way since I had been bought with a price, was no longer my own... and because people (especially "outsiders") were watching and it would be highly distressing to talk like a spoiled brat and then be overheard by someone who knows me as a zealous churchgoer and a professing Christian. That'd be the quickest way for my testimony to be ruined - I would come off as a complete hypocrite who could not practice what she preached.

Despite all my shortcomings, I really don't do anything for show, and I honestly mean to love God with all my heart, all my soul and all my strength (and love others as myself). Moments like these drive me to despair that I will never be worthy of service to God because no one would believe anything I say. I have no credibility. No fruits. At least that's what my depressed heart says sometimes. It's not entirely true though - God is changing me from glory to glory. I'm a work in progress. But I hope the progress will be obvious for the sake of Jesus' name, which I carry as His follower. God unite my heart to fear Your name.

I will never be worthy of God's favor no matter what I do or how good I become. But I am counted worthy to be called His child now, in my present imperfect state, because He who judges sees the blood that covers my sin and makes me perfect now. Even if I soon become the model of perfect patience, kindness and love by the power of the Holy Spirit, I will still be an unworthy servant who has done nothing except what is expected of her. It is the grace of God that has brought me thus far and it is this same grace that will bring me to the promised end.

I hope I will never have another grumpy moment ever again. May God be so real in my life and His majesty so vivid in my eyes that my heart would tremble in His presence and render me incapable of sin (Psalm 4:4). But if I ever get uncontrollably grouchy again, I know God's voice will be more and more persistent and will keep my foot from slipping... in all honesty, despite my rebellious state of mind, I sensed Him keeping me from trouble all day yesterday. He's made me more docile somehow.

If I ever doubt God's power to change me again, I must remember one thing: I believe in the Holy Spirit. I really do. May He be glorified.


* I'm referring to Christians

Grace and Truth

I read a short but very good article by Randy Alcorn about the importance of having grace and truth together, at all times.

Quote:

"Truth-oriented Christians love studying Scripture and theology. But sometimes they're quick to judge and slow to forgive. They're strong on truth, weak on grace.

Grace-oriented Christians love forgiveness and freedom. But sometimes they neglect biblical study and see moral standards as "legalism." They're strong on grace, weak on truth."

Ouch. I admit that I'm usually truth-oriented and quick to judge. (But the Lord knows how hard I try to suppress this tendency because haughty eyes are sooooo wrong, not to mention despicable in the Lord's sight.) When I am gracious, I sometimes fail to endorse the truth coz I don't know how to do it without seeming un-gracious... So it seems I have truth and I have grace, but hardly ever at the same time. God has grace and God has truth, and He has them working together in perfect harmony.

"Do not let kindness and truth leave you; Bind them around your neck, Write them on the tablet of your heart." Proverbs 3:3 (NASB)

Ann Coulter on faith, God and Liberals

Forgive me for washing my hands of this, I really am ignorant when it comes to politics, but I found this hilarious and not without some pretty good insights. Check out the entire interview here.

a few quotes:

You title your book "Godless." Are all liberals atheists?

No, but it increases the odds.

When you say that most liberals don't believe in God, what is your evidence? According to a Fox News poll last year, 92 percent of Americans believe in God. And nearly half of Americans voted Democratic in the 2004 election. So doesn't that suggest that most liberals do believe in God?

First let me say that I think it's terrific to hear a journalist citing a Fox News poll as authoritative evidence and would like to encourage this development. I don't say “most liberals don't believe in God”; I say liberalism is a godless religion. Some liberals don't understand the underlying religious dogma and principles of liberalism--if they did, they would flee the building.

You say: "The core of environmentalism is that they hate mankind." But in February the National Association of Evangelicals, including such signers as Ted Haggard, James Dobson, and Chuck Colson, etc., issued a statement urging Christian stewardship of the environment, "creation care," and so forth. Are these people godless liberals who hate mankind?

Of course not--but I'm beginning to suspect you are. As Dobson and Colson say: God asks us to be good stewards--a statement that presupposes we are stewards of the plants and the animals, they are not stewards of us, as liberals prefer. We are commanded to worship the Creator of the environment, not the environment. As Jesus said, we are of "more value than many sparrows" (Matthew 10:21).

You say you're a Christian. Do you think Jesus would want you to be nicer to your political opponents?

Who knows? Maybe He'll say I was too tough or maybe He'll chastise me for not being tough enough on those who hate Him. Ask the money-changers in the temple how “nice” Jesus was. Maybe He'll say I needed more jokes or fewer adjectives. I'll just apologize for not getting it right and thank him for dying for my sins.